Mommy Madness

Halley's Comment recently reviewed this article on Mommy Madness. What matters is not getting your kid into the right school, toys, etc.. it's giving your your kid the right values and tools to be a contributor and really understand the world he lives in. If you can afford to spend $20K or so for a preK education, why not save the money and spend it on making the public school your kid in much better? Sure, not every parent will pitch in, but the parents that do will serve as role models for all the kids (not just their own). The kids will learn how adults get things done in a real-world setting. What your kids get from you spending time changing the environment we all live in setting an example to teach them how to be better adults.

Just chucking your kid into expensive day care can breed snobbishness, and plays into the whole keeping up with the jones' attitude. After all, what will your children learn in a school that doesn't give grades, or has artificial social structures that are not represented in the real world. What are they learning from parents who push them to be the best but are not actively involved in their education? The kids won't be able to really understand the human dynamics of the non-disneyfied world they live in.
Almost every well adjusted adult I know had parents who actively cared about the quality of the school their kids went to. The parents were around on the school PTA, the school, in the school, and they supported the efforts of the school. Our high school band could boast many involved band parents for every outing, and our math club was able to raise money to go to national competitions because our parents and teachers worked together to collectively solve the problem. As a result, I learned that going to compete/vote/getting great jobs is not a fundamental right-- it was a privilege you earn by many hours of work and collaboration with others (networking). Just as the same as in the world today, you don't get promotions or become a leader without working hard toward it.
Parents need to stay involved, and stay visible in their children's lives. They need to show by example, and not expect other people to raise their kids for them. Sure, there is the opportunity cost of spending time vs. working-- but how much will you regret not being there for them if you had that opportunity?